Pumpkins, Apples, and yuppies oh my!!

The sun shinned for what seemed like hours as compared to the long dreary soaked bleak days we have been having for here in the land of weird new jersey. As the sun pierced through the bedroom windows and softly warmed my naked skin, I arose with excitement from the sound of my wife suggesting we go apple picking at the "local farm". Dressed with flannel shirt and my Jack Skeleton hat and harvest spice coffee in hand ,we were off like two children with minds racing uncontrollably piloted by a insane child with the anticipation of delectable autumn treats. Yes the season of Hallows Day ,the Feast of the Dead, the roads covered with oranges, reds and greenish yellows leafs all to be flown in the air like a tornado spinning with a fierceness as cars race through county roads, jack o laterns blaze with glowish bright orange sheen, ten year olds on bikes moving like hell's howling wind, all to arrive to the hubble of a local farm sporting Halloweens essence that would make Samhain proud. As I step out of our car with mud beneath my feet, the scent of apples from the orchards  rose up to meet what seemed to be mountains from a Tolkien novel brushed my nose triggering memories of what it is to feel this time of year, the feeling of cooler and shorter days and luminous moon filled nights and pumpkins and mums give my eyes a sense of new found sight and the sweet salty smells of the near by snacks give my belly a rumble of new found hunger.
We have arrived at the near by local farm, corn mazes, pumpkin chunk'n, apple picking, tractor rides and laughter of near by children, yes we were here. As it rained heavly the night before and my wife's foot being sore we decided not to apple pick but instead to head into the "store" section of the farm. Dodging strollers, over sugared children and late thirty and early forty Clavin Klein clad ,over accessorized with constant beeping of smart phone adults, my wife and I finally made it inside!
Apples, donuts and hot cider is all we wanted but instead we were greeted with near trip falls, line cutting, and over all inconsiderateness from adults who pushed and shoved for local farm home grown treats, who let their children simply eat drink without paying. Like playing rugby my wife and I made to the counter to pay for our apples leaving behind our home made cinnamon donuts like soldiers of casualty. We went yonder to our car narrowly escaping over priced and under use fullness suvs jumped into our car and breathed with a sign of relieve and wiping sweat from our brow as if we just escaped a horde of orcs.
Was this our relaxing Autumn Sunday that just earlier startled my memories of Autumn excitement? Was this the family day of enjoying each other and your time, the time that is so easy lost to work and always complained about? Did we just leave the one of many farms that who worked long hours with even longer days to provide all of us with food we so take for granted that we even take without paying? Are farms just amusement for our dull under appreciated life? How can we appreciate anything or any one when we don't appreciate ourselves and treasure those times with a sense of generosity of slowing down and truly enjoying the moment and respecting that moment to others? We preached the good word when the Christmas tree is up and the happy black and white movies are on but I say that is not enough, for every season of everyday is a  time to celebrate and cherish for yourself and others.

True Friend

"The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds."
Henry Rollins

True words from a unreal character

"Do you know where you are? You are at the Door to Dreams.

To Black Miracles and Dark Wonders-

Another Life of unknown pleasures....

And it's yours-

Complete the pattern.

Solve the Puzzle.

Turn the Key....."

-Pinhead

Green Devil

Slither and slide your wicked tongue up through my spine and around my neck

The Green Devil Dances with glimmer and sheen

Eyes water as they so uneasily gaze upon the undeniable truth of your desire

The Green Devil Dances with a fiendish laugh

False hopes cannot tear at what is not there

The Green Devil Dances with restless feet

Run and hide behind your veil of lies

The Green Devil moves in the shadows of all
.

No Line Between Point A and B

In there in the sea of chaos

the twisting and turning of waves crashing my body

the memory of times past surface

to reveal what

a memory

in that I am here and the memory is there

in the beginning it was me and the end it was me

no more.

My Beloved Mortal

Her round breast and round arms exposed from her cotton white night gown, she seemed to be a mysterious entity wrapped in flesh. A porcelain antiquity whose eyes windowed a force that longed to be in a world of its own, she gazed into the night hoping it would stare back with its assertive resolution, but only the mortal aesthetics of the city night shown back with its mulish face.
It did not matter that she stood for minutes or hours because she knew the answer was the same as was it many nights before. Her lonesomeness was the companion that reminded her that no absolution would be given to her yearning. Even as she stood underneath that star filled blackened moon filled sky with cool winds rustling and swirling from nature’s breath brushing across her cold feet, caressing her thighs and arching her back in near orgasmic delight, goose bumps arising sharply as did her nipples from her supple heaving breasts as her belly felt a tickle and her golden hair elevated inches above her shrugged shoulders as if a invisible lover was rubbing his fingers through her hair and body. No, not even those erotic autumn night winds could full fill her desire for her beloved prince.

Devil's Playground

Supple lips with shaking hips

Stay for a bit

The tales those foolish fiends savor

Stay for a bit

Dazzling eyes cast a glare of eagerness of short desires

Stay for a bit

Will she or will she not, now that is the question only supported by how

many Georges there are and if we had Ben, no telling the distance then

Stay for a bit

Lights flickering in a near pitch black room, the heat is sweltering ,sounds

muffling words that bear no weight of truth

Stay for a bit

Like a super nova time is lost to the reality of what is approaching the end is

Near to the rising sun in the distance mountains

Stay for a bit and for one more dollar a kiss will be placed on you to insure

you’ll return to The Devil’s Playground.

For I am because I always was

I don’t know where I am I don’t know where I am going

I don’t know what I love I don’t know what I hate

But I cannot stop

The will that drives me to empty thoughts

The cliffs of reality begin to crumble beneath my toes

The rushing air of autumn breezes muffles my screams

The wings of the dragon spread to command the skies

I cannot stop

I know what I am

The moonlight is a dark beacon

I know where I am going

I cannot stop

The will that is renewed with predatory instincts

I know what I love and I know what I hate are the illusions of sharing dreams

For I am because I always was.

Tangled Flesh

Slow rhythmic sounds of a jarring window fan move harmonicly with the steps of the heeled legged by the hour meat package

Trails of circular dented floor boards leave only taciturn sounds to lost mind numbing heart beats

Sweat reproduces itself constantly clinging to cheap sheets and stinging locked frantic eyes

Sun descending to roaring cars and hungry flesh eaters as if a green light for vessels to obtain there destination the flesh tangles itself

The friction of  flesh smashing itself together moves like a ship against the tides of a emotional and violent sea storm

No more air to gasp the flesh lays upon itself with only secretions of its own being and its sour sweat.

The Will

The will is all that we truly have. The boundaries we set by ourselves can be greatly shaken to its core when a opposing will is before us.

Father

"Almost all the noblest things that have been achieved in the world, have been achieved by poor men; poor scholars, poor professional men, poor artisans and artists, poor philosophers, poets, and men of genius."
Albert Pike

As I read this, a reminder of truth of my father shudder through my head. The genius of my father was not in a  magnitude of great wealth or high education but in his flaws and mistakes.  His struggles and diversity gave birth to a beauty of inner strength and patience. It is that gift of a example that he has given me which is only the lesson of life that was, is and ever will be needed.
Thank you my beloved father.

                                                                                     Love Forever
                                                                                     Your son Mark

Challenge of a stockboy

Head pounding and exhaustion settle in after a what seemed a long week of demolishing rooms and battling mold, tears shed as much as sweat from tension and anxiety and voices raised and shouted like cracking sound of stormy thunder.
Phases of home ownership and the adjustment of two adults meshing their own "ways" and their own corks and pet peeves as been so told many many times before. Yet I nod my head as in yes I know I know but without doubt, I don't know!!!! As much I self proclaim master of my reality, a man of stout, a Jedi, there is so much I do not know ,the ways of life and the world surrounding me and even myself. The less I realize the more and more frustrated I become not because of the events around me but more so the fact I know not who I am truly am and my full potential as myself my complete self.
I thought many many times to just leave and say to myself  "you're not happy, its not real, you don't care and the all important "where is my time?"
 I may despise what this new living situation reminds me of my faults and lacking ability but as a self proclaimed Jedi I should understand that life is a constant classroom of learning, just like a stockboy constantly learning his department and customers. How can I turn my back on that? How can I turn my back on the woman, my companion who has more faith in me than myself, more faith in me than life itself?
Isn't that what we all want? Rest assured its what I always wanted, the one true person who saw me more than what the rest of the world or what even I perceived. This stockboy will rise to the new challenge of his inner self.

Love you my Maddie

There is more to being a Jedi than wielding a lightsaber or using The Force. To do such is a mere fraction a mere almost pointless ability of a Jedi, for much more is there for one who is one part of The Living Entity that is The Force.
I have been a Jedi for many years, and in those years I have learned much of myself through the experiences of Life. Earlier training as a child one is first taught the Jedi Code, the very code that is the core of Jedi philosophy and training. For those that do not know the code I will recite it.
There is no emotion ,there is only peace.
There is no ignorance, there is only knowledge.
There is no passion, there is only serenity.
There is no death, there is only The Force.
Now there is many versions of the code both earlier and later but the principle is the same. As a Jedi you are taught to be a "peace keeper" and this done through practice of physical combat particular with a lightsaber. The Force is taught as a living "being" if you will that binds us and enlightens us and guides us,
The Force is used as aid ,not to dominate it or others with it.
As a Jedi, meditation is also highly emphasized to calm the mind and to suppress the "negative" emotions, to remember to serve a greater good and justice.
In this ideals of "good" often times a conflict exists in the Jedi, a padwan, knight, or master, the title matters not for as I experienced the human being is the same regardless.
Emotion, passion and all else falling in this category is taught as a vehicle to the "darkside" of The Force.
Though there are many I have fought that are vile and cruel to all and was as I dare say pleased to have stopped. I must say that what is considered good and the opposite that considered dark or evil are just merely the same.
As you read that I know you are shocked and think I could not be a Jedi. Am I a viewed as a Jedi by the council? No I am not, not now and not ever again.
What did I do, you may ask? Simply, I resign from the order. No not cause of witnessing too much pain or horrors done by man, but more of coming to a understanding of The Force and those that occupy it.
Yoda was considered to be a great Jedi and he was, he also had a dry sense of humor and he saw the beauty in many things.
Darth Bane was considered to be the quintessential embodiment of a Sith, restoring The Rule of Two, and he had no enjoyment, no love.
Polar opposites as those two are they are one and the same. How you may ask? The answer is simple both had a belief system that was right, when one has a belief system it is solely and at times as in case of The Jedi it is self supported.
Whatever the belief is, your will, if strong enough will be given existence through The Force.
The Force is just not a energy or a ability but it is a actual living entity, as the cells in our body we are the cells in The Force. As we learn all aspects of ourselves both dark and light ,it is the balance of these where The Force in is us speaks loudly and the true Jedi emerges.
Love and laugh, take action but be passive when need be. Discover your passions and explore them, give The Force your creations, we all fear and just a little keeps us alert, know when to hold and to let go, drop expections when they are not yours. Most of all enjoy all aspects of Life and The Force will speak strongly in you.